My mom still tries to give me the sex talk some time.
I guess she feels some kind of motherly duty like she needs to fulfill some kind of motherhood checklist or something.
And I’m sitting there like “Mom. I’m 17. I’ve pretty much picked it up off the streets in my years. So lets take off the mom jeans before you hurt yourself.”
And she’s like “We never had this talk Abby! I can’t send you into life unprepared!”
So when I’m watching Glee and of course she walks in as they say the word “nooner” she feels obligated to come pause it and make sure I know what a nooner is. Then later I get my purse and car keys and start to walk out the door and she’s like “ABBY IT’S 10 WHERE ARE YOU EVEN GOING?!”
And I’m like “I’m off to have cuh-raaaaazy sex because- thanks to you- I’m cuh-raaaaazy informed about it!”
And she looks like she’s going to cry so I tell her I’m kidding and go back to Glee.